Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Wrong? Right?

What is wrong to be right?

What is right to be wrong??

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

” Di-Zi Gui 弟子规 “

m Attending this talk from 24-28 Nov 2008 at Dewan Canselor, UKM, Bangi

perhaps m stressing myself out till easily get pissed-off

been jugling between work - relationship - family..

too much to handle..

*will update more on this*

23 Nov 2008 (Sunday)

Mishap n Blessing ??

Accident n Joy all in one ^-^

* will update more on this *

Friday, November 14, 2008

爱的表白式

女孩对男孩说:“我们分手吧”

男孩问:“为什么?”

女孩说:“倦了,就不需要理由了”

一个晚上, 男孩只抽烟不说话

女孩的心也越来越凉: “连挽留都不会表达的情人, 能给我什么样的快乐?”


过了许久,男孩终忍不住说:“怎么做你才能留下来?”

女孩慢慢地说:“回答一个问题,如果你能答到我心里就答案,我就留下来。”

……比如我非常喜欢悬崖上的一朵花,而你去摘的结果是百分之百的死亡,你会不会摘给我?”

男孩想了想说:“明天早晨告诉你答案好吗?”

********************************************************************
女孩的心顿时灰了下来……

早晨醒来,男孩已经不在
只有一张写满字的纸压在温热的牛奶杯下
第一行,就让女孩的心凉透了

“亲爱的,我不会去摘
但请容许我陈述不去摘的理由
你出门总是忘记带钥匙
我要留着双脚跑回来给你开门
每月(好朋友)光临时
你总是全身冰凉,还肚子疼
我要留着掌心温暖你的小腹
你总是盯者电脑
眼睛给糟蹋得已不是太好了
我要好好活着
等你老了
给你修剪指甲
帮你拔掉让你懊恼的白发
拉着你的手
在海边享受美好的阳光和柔软的沙滩
告诉你一朵朵花的颜色
像你青春的脸…
所以
在我不能确定有人比我更爱你以前
我不想去摘那朵花…”

抹净眼泪,女孩继续往下看:

“亲爱的
如果你已经看完了
答案还让你满意的话
请你开门吧
我正站在门外
手里提着你最喜欢吃的鲜奶面包…”

女孩拉开门
看见他的脸
紧张得像个孩子
只会把拧着面包的手在她眼前晃
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


我想这就是爱情或者生活
被幸福平静的包围时
一些平凡的爱意
总被渴望激情和浪漫的心忽略
爱!在双方引起的许多个微不足道的动作里,
从来就没有固定的模式

只有爱
可以是任何一种平淡无奇的形式
花朵、浪漫
不过是浮在生活表面的浅浅点缀
在它们的下面才是我们真真的生活。

~ 好好过 ~

女人,
令你挣扎的,
不是别的,
不过是你相信的“爱”而已。

要好好过,
不强颜欢笑,
不违心说话,
不假装大方得体,
不虚伪应对,
不强迫自己体贴温婉,
只要好好过。

我只想我自己以后要好好过,
我以后都要自己好好过,
好好微笑 ^o^

** 失望,有时候也是一种幸福 **

失望,有时候也是一种幸福,
因为有所期待,所以才会失望,
因为有爱,才会有所期待,
所以纵使失望,也是一种幸福,
虽然这种幸福有点痛!

残酷的真话和动听的谎言你想听那一种?
曾经,说了句真话,没人相信。
谎言,却当真了。
发现人都宁愿活在谎言中。

说慌不是为了欺骗别人,而是为了欺骗自己。

婚姻对男人来说只是一个过程,
对女人来说却是一辈子。

女人即使离婚,也不要绝望。
你否定的,只是一个男人,
不是所有的爱情和生活的美好。

女人即使再婚,也不要害怕。
他接受的,不仅是一个女人,还有和你连在一起的所有悲欢离合。

原谅二字,说起来容易做起来难啊,
被亵渎过的信任再恢复也难啊!

如果恋人之间都不能坦诚相待,
那份感情还有维持得必要吗?

有时候,分不清很爱“他”,还是很爱“爱”。

生活背叛了爱情

当生活背叛爱情, 当距离不能产生美..

人们在爱与被爱,
在失去和拥有之间成熟。
爱情终究只是花前月下,
终究不是人生的终结。
它只是生活的一部分,很小的一部分...

曾经以为只要执着, 只要坚持,
一切美好的爱情都可以地久天长,
都会在洪流中奔流不息,
可是,生活却背叛了爱情。

当我们面对矛盾,也许会选择逃避..
可是,距离只有可能产生矛盾..

背叛不是唯一,距离也不是道理。

背叛的是自己的心,
距离带来的也只是痛楚、
痛彻后的思索和思索后的心灰意冷。

当生活背叛爱情,当距离不能产生美。
我们,
将一无所有。
有的,
只是躯壳。

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

可你,欠我幸福……

你把幸福给了谁,
把牵挂给了谁,
把漂泊给了谁,
把憾恨给了谁???

曾经深深地爱过一些人。
爱的时候,把朝朝暮暮当作天长地久,
把缱绻一时当作被爱了一世,
于是承诺,于是奢望执子之手,
幸福终老。

然后一切消失了,然后我们终于明白,
天长地久是一件多么可遇不可求的事情,
幸福是一种多么玄妙多么脆弱的东西。

也许爱情与幸福无关,
也许这一生最终的幸福与心底最深处的那个人无关,
也许将来的某一天,
我们会牵住谁的手,
一生细水长流地把风景看透。

您:你在我心上

“你有没有什么话要告诉我?”
你说:“我要说的,就是您.”

“您?” 我惊奇的问。  
“恩”你什么也没说,点了点头。

始终惊奇的看着你,但你说来说去还是那句话“我要说的,就是您。”

******************************************************************

终于发现: 将“您”的中间分为“你”和“心”。于是终于明白了“您”的意思。

"!"

其实有一种爱叫作离开

曾经天真的以为不管时间和空间的距离有多长多远,
感情一定会恒久不变,因为爱是没有理由的……

爱不能成为牵绊,所以要选择放手,
从容的让彼此走出彼此的世界。
凡事到极至,伤也会痛。
其实爱过就会懂,
彼此个性的太过坚强终究会是一起生活的阴影

昨日的幸福已成为一种痕迹。
两人能携手走完整个人生固然美好,
可陪上了一段也应心存感激了。

爱一个人不是要成为所爱的人的牵绊,
只要心中有爱,生活总是那么美好。
相遇是一种缘,相识,相恋更是一种缘,
缘起而聚,缘尽而散,放手才是真爱!

还有一种爱,叫离开
曾经以为自己的爱情能够长久,
曾经以为真心的付出就能够换来幸福。
其实错了……

爱情给的唯一的东西就是背叛,无情的背叛!
曾经是那么相爱的两个人,转眼陌路。
留下的是残缺不全的记忆和心痛。

没有想到结局会是这样,
曾经的海誓山盟,
曾经的天长地久转眼都成了飞灰。

还记得他口中的永远,让我恍若梦中,
但梦醒的时候,才发觉他早已离开。

曾经在心中千万次的乞求他回来,
回到我的身边,
回来修补我早已残缺不全的心,
但我知道那不可能。

经常惊醒于午夜梦回的黑暗中,
我的心都好痛,
是思念一个人的疼痛,
看着夜空中的星星,
想着远方属于你的夜,
你还好吗?
一直都快乐吗?

希望能再见你一面,
但又怕见你,怕见到你,
我的心又会再一次的被捏碎。

我只有对自己说不要再去想,
不要再想了,
虽然他的影子从未离开过。

生活还是要过的。
其实有种爱叫作离开。
再见了,我的爱人……

离开不全是坏事,雨过总会天晴的……

Thursday, November 06, 2008

有效对付黑眼圈 ^o^

去黑眼圈的食材:

鸡蛋
由于鸡蛋中富含优质蛋白质,而蛋白质又能促进细胞再生,因此经常食用鸡蛋,增加蛋白质的摄入,对于缓解黑眼圈的形成是有一定功效的。但因人体每日最多只能吸收两个鸡蛋所含的营养,因此食用鸡蛋不宜超过两个。有些人习惯食用生鸡蛋,事实上,生鸡蛋极不易消化,还含有细菌,因此建议大家食用白煮蛋为最佳。此外,瘦肉、禽蛋、水产等也富含优质蛋白质,经常食用此类食物也有助于减少黑眼圈的形成,但由于鸡蛋的蛋白质组成和人体的最接近,所以吸收效果最好。

胡萝卜
除了维生素E能对眼球和眼肌有滋养作用外,维生素A也有此般功效。胡萝卜就是增加维生素A摄入量的不二选择,它能维持上皮组织正常机能,改善黑眼圈。此外,胡萝卜中所含的维生素A还有助于增进视力,尤其是黑暗中的视力。其他蕴含维生素A的食物还有动物肝脏、奶油、禽蛋、苜蓿、杏等。

海带海苔等黑色食品
由于铁质是构成血红蛋白的核心成分。因此,补充适量的铁质能够促使血红蛋白的增加,从而增强其输送氧分和营养成分的能力,而海带富含铁质,所以经常服用海带,也能缓解黑眼圈的困扰。

动物肝脏
含铁质丰富的食物还有动物肝、瘦肉等。补充适量的铁质能够促使血红蛋白的增加,从而增强其输送氧分和营养成分的能力

绿茶
经常使用电脑者可饮用绿茶,补充特异性植物营养素,消除因电脑辐射引起的黑眼圈。绿茶所含有的浓缩多酚,能抑制自由基对皮肤支持纤维造成破坏,是今日一致公认最有效的抗自由基因子。多喝低咖啡因的绿茶不仅能消除黑眼圈,其含有的儿茶素,既能帮助身体脂肪代谢,而且对睡眠也有帮助,不仅可以安定睡眠质量,也让人比较不容易有疲劳感觉。


另附几款眼膜:

银耳眼膜
将银耳煮成浓汁,放入冰箱冰镇。每日一次,每次取3-5滴涂于眼角、眼周。
作用 润白去皱、增强皮肤弹性。

苹果眼膜
将苹果切薄片敷在眼部下方,如果先在冰箱里冷藏效果会更好。
作用 祛除黑眼圈。

牛奶眼膜
用冰牛奶敷眼,每天早晚2次,每次10分钟。
作用 消除眼袋。

丝瓜眼膜
取未成熟的丝瓜去皮、去子,捣成泥后涂于眼部。
作用 抗过敏、增白。

茶叶眼膜
用泡过的茶叶(红茶除外)敷眼,每周一次

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

想淋雨...

想淋雨,很想淋雨……
有的人淋雨,是因为流泪了,
有的人淋雨,是因为迷失了,
有的人淋雨,是因为软弱了,
有的人淋雨,是因为开心了,
有的人淋雨,是因为……

下雨天,
下雨天在你的记忆里,
是否也有着一段美丽的故事呢?

庆幸有你爱我

失去和拥有刹那的感动
人生有时候像一场梦
醒着的时候睁开了双眸
不如意的很多

朋友和情人来的来走的走
反反复复寻寻觅觅为了什么
要多少时间才能够了解
其实有你就足够

失去和拥有泪水和笑容
人生有时候像一场梦
累了的时候闭上了双眸
谁在回忆上游

多少的朋友来的来走的走
聚散从来都不给任何的理由
转过身以后才忽然感受
你一直都在背后

握着你的手走过快乐和难过
黑夜白昼每个人都会拥有
人生是没有定律的一种节奏
不如用心去感受

快乐的一刻胜过永恒的难过
黑夜过后就有日出和日落
两个人走不会寂寞
每一刻都会珍惜都会把握
庆幸有你爱我

握着你的手走过快乐和难过
黑夜白昼每个人都会拥有
人生是没有定律的一种节奏
不必在乎的太多

快乐的一刻胜过永恒的难过
黑夜过后就有日出和日落
只要和你一起度过
人生没几人懂我懂得把握
庆幸有你爱我

不该让过去的影响未来

人 -- 就是这么多七情六欲 悲欢离合

不该让过去的影响未来。。。
因为未来会比过去的更精彩。。。


*************************************************
试过很想念很想念一个人吗?
可能是心里喜欢的人……
可能是此生最爱的人……
可能是曾经相恋的人……
可能是十分珍惜的人……

不孤单,因为,因为我有我的思念。
开心时,和我一起笑……
失意时,有你可以靠……
难过时,陪我一起苦……
犯错时,张开手拥抱……

思念我的人
***************************************************


我不知道为什么,
看你笑,
看你哭,
就这样看着,
也很开心,
我就喜欢这一点,
答应我一件事吧!
在我面前,你想怎么样就怎么样,
你的情绪,你的感情,
毫不掩饰,怎么样?

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Frens ^-^

Frens forever....

Been knowing for 14 years since uni..

Thanks for d companion although we seldom meet n contact...

May god bless u n ur little baby : )


**Sorry and million of thanks to shilla for curi'ing this pic at ur blog : p
and sorry for ignoring u as both of us have nonstop talks --not really ignoring but letting you to have a big feast on your own : ) so next trip to plan - ur new kaki makan crab..

Saturday, October 18, 2008

执子之手,与子偕老 Part II

经历过这么多的风风雨雨,
才真正明白了,
有一个人,
他永远也不会放开你的手,

在我彷徨的时候,
他总是能够拉着我的手,
从来没有放开过





也终究明白了这种淡淡的小幸福,
不需要怎样的轰轰烈烈,
只要手牵手一起走过就好。

永远有多远,我也不知道,
我只知道,不管经历什么事,
握着你的手,决不会松开,

我冰凉的手需要你的温暖,
我脆弱的心灵需要你的陪伴,
我要紧紧扣着你的手,
不分开,
永远不分开


一直最喜欢“子之手,与子偕老”这句话,
希望我们会一直牵手走下去,直到永远!

可以携手享有每个美丽的清晨和黄昏,
可以执手走过漫长的夜、坎坷的路,
哪怕黑暗,哪怕艰难。

“生死契阔,与子成说。执子之手,与子偕老。”
虽无仗剑天涯,风尘作伴的豪情;
有红袖添香,温情相对的默契。
是一种古老而坚定的承诺,
是浪漫而美丽的传说。

执手千山万水而骤然缩短,
执手恩怨情仇而悠然消散,
执手泪眼而不忍相看,
执手相思而相思难眠。

执手之时,冷暖两心知;
执手之时,悲喜两相交。
执手 —— 因为爱。
爱的越真,心越清纯;
爱的越深,情越质朴。

执子之手,与子偕老;
执子之手,生死两忘。
执子之手,与子共箸;
执子之手,与子同眠;
执子之手,与子偕老;
执子之手,夫复何求?

《对的人》

《对的人》
作词:姚谦 作曲:Keith Stuart 演唱:戴爱玲/本多Ruru/郭品超


你问在我心中 是否还苦恼
那次受伤 否决了爱的好
谢谢你的关照 我一切都好
一个人 不算困扰

爱虽然很美妙 却不能为了寂寞 又陷了泥沼
爱要耐心等待 仔细寻找 感觉很重要
宁可空白了手 等候一次 真心的拥抱
我相信在(这个)世界上 一定会遇到
对的人出现(在眼角)

那次流过的泪 让我学习到
如何祝福 如何转身 不要
在眼泪体会到 与自己拥抱

爱不是一种需要 是一种对照
能愿意为了一份爱 付出去多少
然后得到多少并不计较

当我想清楚的时候 我就算已经准备好
放手去爱 海阔天高
喔... 耶...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Been loving this song as long as I could remember : )


不应过分抱怨,该知足,
在某个失落的日子,心存感激,
在某个哭泣的雨天,祈祷晴天.

如果可以,请拉住我的手,告诉我,你需要我。
如果可以,请抱住我的背,告诉我,你还爱我。
如果可以,请抓住我的
,告诉我,你想疼我。
如果可以。请拉我停留。

我想,如果没人爱我了,我也不会好好爱自己

Clean Up..Frens

"Anything that you should have done but didn't, ties u to your past"

Time to clean up "need-to's","have-to's", "ought-to's" from your past...
When you have regrets, it's tough to move forward and grow...

Taking care of these things clean your mental slate and eliminates any regrets or resentments you may harbor...

Now: take a deep breath; look ahead...
Both your conscience,and your future is clear :)

Abtracted from: Meditations for women, thanks to Dr Rossy for this inspiration website !

Thursday, October 16, 2008

说与不说 (源自慈济)

有事,轻轻说
好事,赶快说。
小事,幽默地说。
听来的事,不传说。
道歉的话,要先说。
关怀的话,请多说。
做不到的事,别乱说。
现在的事,做了再说。
开心的事,看场合说。
争辩的话,忍住不说。
别人的隐私,不必说。

讨厌的事,对事不对人说。
否定别人的话,不可以说。
自己得意之事,没什么好说。
直话直说不叫直心,叫伤人的心。
没事,听别人说感恩的话。
要常说大事,有条理地说。

伤心的事,看人说。
鼓励别人的事,尽管说。
没发生的事,不要预说。
比较的话,不能说。
未来的事,未来再说。
没把握的事,不一定要说。
危险的事,大声地说。
自己的事,先听自己怎么说。
落井下石的话,不该说。
抱怨的话,说了也是白说。
损人不利己的话,幹嘛说?

Sick : ( Emotionally?? or Physically??

Not been feeling well for the last week..

Rain.. Stairs..Late work = Fever + Cold

君住长江尾

我住长江头,君住长江尾;
日日思君不见君,共饮长江水。
此水几时休?此恨何时已?
只愿君心似我心,定不负相思意。

???????? Confusion??????? Determination???


此物最相思……







在城市呆得太久,会变得有点行尸走肉。
对很多事情好像都变得没有感觉了……
麻木了吗?心死了吗?

只有哭泣时,才会深深感受到心还在跳跃……
只有擦泪时,才真实感受到原原本本的自己……

做好本分,做回自己最好!
做人但求将心比心、问心无愧……
是的,就是问心无愧 !!!

勾勾手 ^_^

什么时候,我们也勾勾手?
为我们的相遇相知相惜承诺一番?

人与人之间的相遇相知……
确实还得靠那么一丁点的缘分。

有的人第一次见面,就很谈得来。
即使相隔很远,但还可感受到一点温度。
有的人即使天天见,也只点头笑。
那些重复的动作,只为了打个招呼而已。
相处愉快是从心而发。

直到永遠 - 蔡东河

언제까지나 直到永遠
눈물은 아껴둬야 해요 要珍藏自己的眼淚
열 번쯤 쉬어가다 그때 大約休息十次後
한번 울기로 해요 到那時再哭一次吧
울고 싶을 때 想哭的時候
차라리 한번 더 웃어요 與其去哭 寧可再笑一次
스치던 행복들이 놀라 擦身而過的幸福也會驚歎
그대 안에 들어오게 從而向你走過來

언제까지나 기억해요 直到永遠 請你記住
세상에 그대 보내진 이유 上天創造你的理由
한 사람에겐 成為對一個人
목숨과 같은 사람 猶如他生命般重要的人
그게 그대니까 因為那就是你
잊지 말아요 不要忘記

그대는 웃는 게 예뻐요 你的笑容很美麗
둠을 밝히듯이 可以驅散黑暗的妳
날 자꾸 웃게 해요 總是可以讓我充滿笑容
힘에 겨울 땐 疲倦的時候
더 크게 눈을 떠야 해요 要更加的睜大雙眼
다가올 기쁨들을 혹시 或許快樂即將到來
못보고 놓치지 않게 不要因為沒有發覺而錯過

잊지 말아요 不要忘記
사랑해요 我愛你
지웠던 기억 刪除的記憶
슬픔을 꺼내요 把悲傷拿出來
무거운 어깰 살며시 내게 기대고 沈重的肩膀 偷偷的
쉬어도 되요 可以依靠在我身上休息
언제까지나 기억해요 直到永遠 請你記住

세상에 그대 보내진 이유 上天創造你的理由
한 사람에겐 成為對一個人
목숨과 같은 사람 猶如他生命般重要的人
그게 그대니까 因為那就是你
언제까지나 기억해요 直到永遠 請你記住
그대의 곁에 내가 있음을 你身邊還有我

그대가 因為有你
있어 정말 행복한 사람 真的感覺很幸福的人
그게 나라는 걸 那就是我
언제까지나 直到永遠

你想谁了?

快乐时,你想谁了?
难过时,你想谁了?
挫折时,你想谁了?
苦恼时,你想谁了?
气煞时,你想谁了?

幸福 ??

幸福,如履薄冰。
爱情,有人憧憬有人却步!
战战兢兢,如履薄冰。
跌跌撞撞,哭了又笑。
它总是让人不顾一切!
即使……满身是伤。

面对感情,最终还是要回到心中的感觉,
因为自己的感觉最真实,也是最忠实的。
如果喜欢如果爱,那就勇敢去争取去追求,
如果心里都没有答案,就不如放手让自己自由 !!!

感情,就是一种很难拒绝的吗啡……
一旦掏心,就再也戒不掉。

细心……可以让感情长长久久。
用心……可以让感情历久弥新。
交心……可以让感情温暖光亮。
真心……可以让感情喜悦充实。
贴心……可以让感情甜甜蜜蜜。

幸福其实很简单,不是吗?
就在于我们是不是真诚地在对一个人好……
今天,你幸福了吗? ^_^

!! 拥抱 !!

可以在开心时,给彼此一个拥抱……
可以在难过时,给对方一个拥抱……
可以在垂丧时,换对方一个拥抱……

拥抱,
就像一股无限的力量,
快乐时,将喜悦散播……
伤心时,将关心传递……
失意时,将温暖分享……

快乐时,多一个可以分享的人,
难过时,多一个可以依靠的人。

表达放式 ...

有人勇敢追求爱,
有人对爱含蓄,
两种不同的表达放式,
但对于女人,只有一种说法,
就是爱。

对于感情,你是含蓄还是坦荡荡的呢?
也许,每一个人的关怀方式都不一样,
但是,如果关心对方、喜欢对方、爱对方,
无论如果,都要让对方知道……
这种感觉,就像追求梦想那样,
要始终坚持,
要充满勇气,
要加油!

男人的真心话,
女人的口红,
不应该吝啬,
我们时常不肯说出心底话
今天不用,来日也许再也用不著了。
感情需要经营,也需要一起去努力。
加油!加油!加油!

执子之手,与子偕老 Part I

死生契阔,与子成说。执子之手,与子偕老。

执子之手,与子共著。
执子之手,与子同眠。
执子之手,与子偕老。
执子之手,夫复何求?



----------------------------------------------------------

《诗经·邶风·击鼓》

击鼓其镗,踊跃用兵。土国城漕,我独南行。

从孙子仲,平陈与宋。不我以归,忧心有忡。

爰居爰处?爰丧其马?于以求之?于林之下。

死生契阔,与子成说。执子之手,与子偕老。

于嗟阔兮,不我活兮。于嗟洵兮,不我信兮。

执子之手,与子共著.
执子之手,与子同眠.
执子之手,与子偕老.
执子之手,夫复何求?

-----------------------------------------------------------------

执子之手,与子偕老。

当你哭泣的时候,有人陪你伤心,
倾听你诉说,为你抚平凌乱的发和憔悴的颜容,
告诉你明天依旧阳光灿烂;当你笑容明媚的时候,
整个世界都和你一起明媚,而他静静地站在一旁,微笑着看着你和阳光一般地灿烂……

执子之手,与子偕老。

这该是一幅两个人同撑起一方天空的风景。
象两棵独立的大树,你们共同撑起一方天空,
枝叶在蓝天下盛放,树根在地底下相互扶 持。
风也罢霜也罢,雨也罢雪也罢,

执子之手,
每一刻都是如此的美好,
每一刻都是一首动人的情诗,
每一刻都值得用所有的时光去回味……

相对无言眼波如流的默契 ……
也许也不回味,只是紧紧地握住你的手,
什么话也不说,慢慢地陪你走过今生今世,来生来世!!!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

消磨時光

「你現在是否還願意為誰消磨時光?在這世界上。是否還有人願為你消磨時光?」

「愛」的確有多種多樣的表達方式,
其中一種、而且挺重要的一種就是消磨時光。
以前常有、現在不常有的一種對愛的描述就是:
兩人在一起,時光不知不覺就過去了。
愛消磨了時光。愛需要消磨時光。   

忙是為了什麼,時間節省下來又是為了什麼?
請記得並且情願與你的愛人、親人和友人消磨一些時光...要是你真愛他們的話。
不是浪費而是珍惜時光。

當我在回憶,妳也在回憶時,那代表默契;
當只有一人在回憶時,那代表單純的回憶;
當兩人都不再回憶時,那代表遙遠的距離。

女人首先要學會愛自己

女人首先要學會愛自己

1、如果一個男人開始怠慢你,請你離開他。不懂得疼惜你的男人不要為之不捨,更不必繼續付出你的柔情和愛情。  

2、任何時候,不要為一個負心的男人傷心,女子更要懂得:傷心最終傷的是自己的心。如果那個男人是無情的,你更是傷不到他的心,所以,收拾悲傷.好好生活。  

3、永遠不要無休止的圍著你喜歡的那個男人轉,盡管你喜歡得他快要掏心掏肺的死掉了,也還是要學著給他空間,否則,你要小心纏得太緊勒死了他。  

4、當一個男人對你說:分手吧。請不要哭泣和流淚,應該笑著說:等你說這話很久了。然後轉身走掉。  

5、要相信自己,善待自己,讓自己的生活精彩紛呈。不要誤認為是要讓某個人後悔,而是為了讓自己的人生更精彩。  

6、每天打扮的優雅從容出門,給自己帶上不同的笑容。  

7、對善意欣賞你的男子回報淺淺的微笑。  

8、女子25歲後,要學會保養自己的皮膚。  

9、如果可以不抽煙,別抽。如果可以不喝酒,別喝。  

10、再鬱悶也不要去泡酒吧。一個孤獨的女子手握高腳杯或者抽煙,會更添寂寞感與憂傷。  

11、不要貪慕虛榮。虛榮是一劑毒藥,而且會上癮。  

12、要穿高跟鞋,但是不要高的太過分。  

13、要有幾個死黨,獨自一人的時候,保証還能有死黨為你端茶送水。而不是聲竭力嘶的嚎叫為什麼說愛你的那個人不能來陪你。  

14、睜開雙眼選擇你的未來伴侶,如果選錯了,立即分開。不要湊合過日,那樣會害了兩個人。  

15、不要和男人動手。第一,你動不過他; 第二,和你動手的男人一定是個瘋子。所以,不如不動  

16、外出旅游。旅行中的心靈能更充實。  

17、有喝下午茶、閱讀書本、聽音樂的習慣。  

18、買適合自己的衣服、飾物。適合你的就是最好的,所以不必羨慕別人的行頭。  

19、不要接受你不喜歡的男子送的任何禮物。  

20、一次只愛一個人。  

21、知道自己要什麼,包括你愛的男人。  

22、寧缺毋濫。不要因為寂寞隨手抓一個男人,這太缺乏責任感。  

23、對你不喜歡的追求者的示好和關心堅定的拒絕。即使他說,這不關你的事。  

24、認真的對待你的工作。工作也許不如愛情來的讓你心跳,但至少能保証你有飯,有房子住,而不確定的愛情給不了這些,所以,認真努力的工作。  

25、最少擁有五個以上可供不同顏色、款式衣服搭配的包,五雙以上的鞋子。  

26、學會化精致淡雅的妝容。懂得出現在什麼場合著什麼服裝。  

27、已經錯失的好男人不要去後悔,他們不屬於你,而是你要睜大眼睛再找一個。  

28、不要愛上已婚卻還對你信誓旦旦說會拋妻棄子迎娶你的男人。如果他們真的沒感情,自然會離婚,而不是整日對你說些莫名其妙的話。  

29、情人節或者生日沒有人送花也無所謂, 你可以將買花的錢買精美的禮物,送給媽媽和爸爸。    

30、記住你喜歡的人的生日,包括你的家人,當然,還有自己。

Monday, September 08, 2008

爱不持久

爱不可能持久
尤其当一个人怀疑自己的时候
本来更甜美的话
现在却象在吵架

如果没有人想承认 自己还爱对方
爱就变成挣扎

爱不可能持久
尤其当你怀疑我不爱你的时候
本来想牵你的手
现在却觉得尴尬

如果没有人想承认
自己还爱对方
爱就变成挣扎

我不想失去你
又不知道如何去表达
我爱你明明在心里面回荡

我不想失去你
又不知道如何去表达
下次多希望你能够鼓起勇气说爱我


作曲:徐熙娣 作词:徐熙娣

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Baby BiG Day.............

2nd September 2009 - significant day for little angel - he's officially ONE year old : )

Prayers..
Birds..
Freedom..
Blessing..

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Lost in Paradise ^_^ (有你的快樂)

I know that it might sound strange
but you made my seasons start to change
it happened so suddenly
like heaven has waited up for me

I’ve just been looking so long
kept meeting my mr.wrong
in every model and every size
now my fantasy
is staring at your eyes

sometimes you think i'm beautiful
but i don't know
I’ll keep it to myself
you say it, it feels wonderful
my smile can show
I’m lost in paradise..


我怎麼都不想睡
天特別的亮 夜特別的黑
當我深深的呼吸
心中充滿想你的甜蜜

想和你走在雨中
想要你牽我的手
傻傻的你不敢說 愛
而我也故意要
你為我等 待

說不出有多麼快樂
還是不夠 這感覺這一切
就好像飄在外太空
別的星球
只有我們存在

在一起越來越久
開始會對你在乎
這感覺我們都明白

只要你在身邊 日子就亮起來

說不出有多麼快樂
還是不夠 這感覺這一切
就好像飄在外太空
別的星球
只有我們存在

愛 情 在這個時候
我的心又像天氣
晴時多雲偶爾有雨


** By: 王若琳 (Joanna Wang)

Time Flies (7 - 12 months)

Time Flies (1 - 6 months)

To Be or Not To Be ???

Still not been convinced to be or not to be
...............................
........................
.................
..........
......
...
.


爱是一个自私的念头 把寂寞消除的理由...
想让你知道我懂 却担心言不由衷...
剩下的那些感动 能记得多久....

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

爱的感觉 !!

爱的感觉
一开始真的很甜蜜,
总觉得多一个人陪、分担,
不再孤单了,
至少有一个人想著你、
恋著你,
不论做什么事情,
只要能一起,就是好的,
慢慢的,
随著彼此的认识愈深,
开始发现了对方的缺点,
问题一个接著一个发生,
开始烦、累,甚至想要逃避,
很多人以为是因为感情淡了,
所以人才会变得懒惰。

错!
其实是人先被惰性征服,
所以感情才会变淡的。

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

MC !!!

Little Angel is sick...for the first time in his 10 months n 3 weeks.. very cranky, wants to be cuddled all the time, will cry loud when left on the floor, running nose, high fever, and the most painful thing is - he'd lose lots of weight ..no more chubby little handsome..just model body now :)

So sorry for not taking well of you... pls forgive me : (

I'm sick too...dunno whether it is him who got the virus or me..wondering ..wondering...hmmm

Yup. he got 6 teeth at upjaw now... and still 2 teeny-weeny at bottom jaw..no wonder he's not feeling and and keep biting his finger and the bottle teats...

As days goes by, little angel begin to show his temper - once feeding, he said umphh (rejecting); second try, louder umphhhhhhh; and the third try - either he would grab the spoon and throw it away or he would spit it out and use his hand to grab the food and throw it away...

Oh my...he learns a few things at home - firstly, he's able to climb the stairs very quickly (on first atempt)...and now can't take our eyes of from him as he would grab whatever opportunity to climb the stair, once we only leave him on the floor for a few second - next thing is we found him halfway up the stairs....

Next thing is - he know how to rollover - I was feeling weird what is he doing on the floor, kissing ? licking? nooo...he is rolling on the floor..hmph how he learns that?? According to kakak - he's learn that by trying to get in the bedframe to grab the toy car.. as the frame is too short for him to got through - he hold on the the frame and slip his legs in and when the whole body is in - he roll over to get close to the car....but couldn't get out...hahhahhaa

Friday, August 01, 2008

愛到極愛..恨到極恨..

人總是被思念折磨,在思念裡做一頭可憐的流浪狗。
我們每一個人都是被有條件地愛著,也是有條件地愛著別人。
不必心灰意冷,既然知道世上沒有無條件的愛,
你應該努力使自己更具備條件去愛,
同時也該學習忘記一些條件去愛一個人。

愛情最恐怖的地方,他愛你,不代表他不會背叛你。
他背叛你,也不代表他不愛你。
不愛上他,就不會因為無法跟他長相廝守而難過。
承諾本來就是男人與女人的一場角力,
有時皆大歡喜,大部分情況卻是兩敗俱傷。

不到最後一刻,千萬別放棄。
最後得到好東西,不是幸運,
有時候,必須有前面的苦心經營,
才有後面的偶然相遇。
有時候,我們愛著的,不是現實的那個人,
而是回憶裡的他。

男人覺得對不起一個女人,
不代表他仍然愛她和思念她,
人在回憶的時候,只是回味從前的自己。

有些事情是不可勉強的。
你愛一個人,他不愛你,不代表你不可愛,
不代表你不好,只能代表他不愛你而已。

有時候,我們願意原諒一個人,
並不是我們真的願意原諒他,而是我們不想失去他。
不想失去他,惟有假裝原諒他。

一段愛情可以由愛重新開始,卻不能由原諒重新開始。
我們愛一個人和不愛一個人往往是因為同一些理由。

時間治療痛苦,也加深了痛苦;
它有時候太長,有時候又太倉促。

感情的事很奇怪。
你很投入的時候,對方很抽離。
你很抽離的時候,對方又偏偏很投入。

男人對女人的傷害,不一定是他愛上了別人,
而是他在她有所期待的時候讓她失望,
在她脆弱的時候沒有扶她一把,
在她成功的時候竟然妒忌她。

愛到極愛,往往變成無情。
恨到極恨,往往不再有恨。
愛情永遠是想像比現實美麗,
相逢如是,
告別也如是。

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Baby first word !

Last saturday (12th July 2008) went back to c little angel after leaving him with my parent - seems he's enjoying himself there... dad had been feeding him with all junk food (aka adult's food)..

Should not leave him long enuf with my family..as they tend to spoilt his appetite.. he would refuse to eat his porridge when he is used to all the sweet n more flavourer food...

Late at nite - playing with him at the mattress, showing him how to roll over.. he laugh whenever I rollover... and teaching him to call "Mama".. and suddenly heard him said "MAMA"..

That's melt my heart... he is growing another teeth - makes 5 now : )


Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Truth ? Doubts ?

Loose instructions on how to search for the truth about anything -
1. Search the official websites.
2. Search the unofficial websites.
3. Search the world out there.
4. Search yourself within.

The last instruction is crucial for any search though.

Great doubt - great realisation
Little doubt - little realisation
No doubt - no realisation

Any doubts?

Monday, June 16, 2008

Baby's Day at Home..

Few days at home - gain - lots of bums at forehead...in this 9 months he had not even cried so hard like this..

My fault, sayang... mummy shouldn't have left you for a few seconds... knowing that you are so active and quick in action : )

Two central bottom teeth grows when you are 6 months & Two central top teeth when you are Nine months ..good job..hopefully you won't be irritable as your gums would be sore, no restless nights and miserable days for you when your teeny weeny teeth grow through.

That's spell why his milk bottle nipples are torn ..all of them...weird when I found out why all his milk bottle nipples are torn... now i Know, now I know, little one... : )

He's becoming more and more strong - doesn't likes to be carried for long as he would try to break free in whatever means as he could...then crawling around, touching and pulling things and not forgetting tasting them : )

Got to be more careful and be alert of what he's doing as he getting more witty and act in a flash.. he's strong enough to hold on to the edge of his cot to stand up, would try to struggle free from his tied stroller, would kick to free himself from baby rockers....oh my...such an energetic little angel ^o^

But still of all - I'm happy of his progress... as he's doing well and I do hear praises for him and myself too.. Thank god for not letting go of us.. NamoAmituofo

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Baby Day Out !!

First baby trip to PD ! Tiara Beach Resort 7-8th July 2008

Damien is 8 mths n 3 weeks - since he likes to play water during his bath - splashing all over the places ..thought it would be fun and he would enjoy going to PD

Reached there around 12:30pm after going thru jammed and long long way : )

Poor baby are scared when we were there - not been bringing him out a lot - so he's scared of people ; ( been crying n crying n tears coming out..poor thing..will try to bring him out more whenever I'm free.. that's my promise my dear baby..

On the second day- he's much more better, able to talk to some, letting some to carry him although not for long, but that's an improvement..

Got him into Cutest Baby competition - never would expect any prize....surprisingly...we WON..
Hip hip hooray for baby Damien - for winning the FIRST prize.. ^o^

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Little Boss's Progress

On 3rd June, boss D started to crawl forward... so happy as I'd been worrying about his progress as previously he only crawl backward... go-stan..

His temper is beginning to show - would shake his head and scream when he did not want something..e.g. boring food (usual porridge), putting him in cradle n forcing him to sleep, sitting too long on the stroller..

Little boss would laugh out loud if we pour away the leftover porridge, and when he bang his head on our body (it hurts and by reflex we would scream out..but that initiate his next bang..) - so what I do is - just keep quiet and he would stop doing this : )

He's scared of getting inside the lif...would try bringing out more and taking lif up and down..so he's familiar with this..

Friday, May 16, 2008

Mien2 Progress : )

Been neglecting my blog - had been long thinking of putting down some memory for Mien2...

It's been 8 months now - my little angel had grown so fast..
Learning to sit (like a humpty-dumpty) n crawl (in reverse action) in 6 months..
Having his first teething - in 7 months...that's when I felt sharp pain on my finger as he likes to chew my finger : )
N now at 8 months 3 days - he's trying to crawl frontwards... n would shove his head if he wouldn't want to be fed...naughty naughty little angel..

How amazed that little angel are able to response and act upon our action without been taught...
Hi..my angel..let's see what you could do in a week time : )

Here I promise you that I'll make the best of our life together.. and I love you, little mien-mien

Thursday, April 10, 2008

New Life !

On Dec 2007, we separated for the last time and
he left for a life apart from our family.
The pain cut deep and I became entangled in a maze of darkness and grief.
Grief for the mate I lost and the love I had wanted.

In the depths of my grief I had to rebuild my life and care for my little angel.
Daily tasks became my anchors in a sea of cold despair.
His leaving left me emotionally raw and the pain was searing into my very soul.

I felt that he had rejected my love, betrayed my trust, my existence had not been enough to keep him happy and with me.
He had become his disease.
Living with this man who needed so much had drained me and made me unable to focus clearly on anyone but him.
Now that he was gone, I could focus on my little ones and on myself.

Loss requires one to deal with the pain...
to deal with the changes that occur when loss is a part of your life...

I had lost my love, and my man. I was alone in my home, the only adult.
My little ones needed me to be strong.
They needed me to make all the decisions,
they needed me to put aside my emotional trauma and to function for them.

I relied heavily on my faith... which it's so hard thru the silent, lonely n darkest nites...
I had to have time to grieve.
I needed to acknowledge my loss and to accept that this relationship was over.
It was necessary to feel the full extent of the pain, in order for me to say goodbye.
Once my pain was felt in full, and I could say that my mate was gone; then, and only then could I close the door on my pain, and open a new door to my new life.


In the depths of gloom I no longer sit, for time is a gift, and does not wait
I walk in light and fill my days with tasks achieved in love, and filled with grace
My thoughts now warm and full can at times without pain recalling him...

What you can feel, you can heal.
It is possible to feel true happiness again.
Healing your broken heart may be a difficult and long road.
Learn from your mistakes and make yourself a better person.

Some day I will call him and I will thank him for breaking my heart.
Someday when I let go and am ready tolove again, I will appreciate the pain.
Because the PAIN is what lets us truly know we are alive.

Life is TOO short....to stay MAD

Read a nice articel - Anger is a wasted emotion.

Too much energy, too much effort spent on a negative feeling that gets you no closer to being happy than the original catalyst that caused it.
Many more worthwhile pursuits exist than to than to sit around seething in anger.

Anger at past happenings are better off being let go.
The past cannot be changed, better to look toward the future.

Anger at people can be distilled into two categories.
People you care about and
People you don't.
The latter should simply be dismissed.
Being mad at this person only serves to make you unhappy.
It can never have a better resolution. Again just let it go.

In the other case, it is much better to try and understand why the person did what was they did that made you mad.
This is a much quicker path to resolution than fuming over what could be little more than a misunderstanding.

Living life, is about finding happiness.
It really is just too short to waste precious time on being angry.

There is too much to be done, and so little time to do it in.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Tired...

After a long break..

Should be happy..
but i just can't smile....

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Far Away...

Far Away from home...
But my heart is still there....
Missing my little one......
It's so hurt to leave my little one there....

M counting my days here as each day r like years......
Y someone close would betray u n just walk out of your life as he wants.....

I hate him for ruining everything that suppose to be happily everafter..
I truly hate him for destroying a happy family...
I hate him so much and with this hate I would carry on my life with my little one....

Hate.. hate.. hate..

Saturday, February 02, 2008

原来我不懂

曾经以为自己是个很坚强的人,
即使失去爱情,
也可以活出自己的精彩,
其实不是,
我不明白为什么人总要在经历一些事情之后才能多了解自己一点,
如果一切都可以避免,就不会这么伤心了……
我丢掉了我的爱情……

曾经以为自己是世界上最幸福的人,
即使失去一切,
我还有爱情,
其实不是,
直到有一天他和我说他不爱我的时候我就知道一切都是自己在骗自己,
以为自己真的找到了懂得爱自己的人,谁知那个人却不是他……

我丢掉了我的心……
曾经以为自己没心没肺,
即使受过伤害,也会很快忘记做回快乐的自己,
其实不是,到处都是他留下的记忆,

越想忘记,反而会记得越深,
每一次想起都会让自己很痛很痛……

但我现在是真的一无所有……
我丢掉了我自己……
曾经以为伤我们最深的是爱情,

其实不是,时间可以治疗爱情留下的痛,
却带不走深刻在脑海里的记忆。

没有了爱情,
却仍然记得你第一次说爱我,
第一次牵我的手,
第一次吻我,
第一次叫我亲爱的,
第一次叫我Bibi……

所带给我满心的感动与幸福……
我丢不掉回忆……
曾经以为自己很富有,
其实不是,
我丢掉了爱情,
丢掉了心,
丢掉了快乐,
丢掉了自己,
唯一丢不掉的只有回忆……

原来有许多原来我不懂……

太爱一个人

太爱一个人,
会被他牵着鼻子走,
如被魔仗点中,完完全全不能自己。
从此,你没有了自己的思想,
没有了自己的喜怒哀乐,
你以他为中心,
跟着他在一起时,
你就是整个世界;
不跟他在一起时,世界就是他。   

太爱一个人,
会无原则地忍受他,
慢慢地他习惯于这种纵容,
无视你为他的付出,
甚至会觉得你很烦,太没个性,
甚至开始轻视,怠慢,不尊重你……   

太爱一个人,
你无异于一支蜡烛,
奋不顾身地燃烧,
只为求得一时的光与热。
待蜡烛燃尽,
你什么都没有了。
而对方只是一个手电筒,
他可以不断放入新电池,
永远保持活力。   

太爱一个人,
他会习惯你对他的好,
而忘了自己也应该付出,
忘了你也一样需要得到同等的回报--他完全被你宠坏了。
不要以为你爱对方十分他也会爱你十分,
爱是不讲道理的,
所以很多时候,爱也是不平等的。   

不要爱一个人爱的浑然忘却自我。
那样全身心的爱只应出现在小说里,
这个社会越来越不欢迎不顾一切的爱。

给他呼吸的空间,
也给自己留个余地--飞蛾扑火的爱情,
正在进行时固然让人觉得壮美,
但若他成为时,你如何收拾那一地的狼籍?

投入那么多,你能否面对那惨重的损失?   
所以,爱一个人不要爱到十分,八分已经足够了。
剩下的两分,用来爱自己。   

可是10万个不爱他的理由也敌不过一个爱他的理由~!

Thursday, January 31, 2008

黑色的魔力

黑色的魔力
大到让我喘不过气。
我的无理取闹,
我的不体谅,
我的语气,
原来全都很不对的环绕在别人身上。

就让黑色寄放在我的生活,我的心里吧~

怎么样爱一个人?

怎么样爱一个人?

爱一个人,
要了解,也要开解;
要道歉,也要道谢;
要认错,也要改错;
要体贴,也要体谅;
是接受,而不是忍受;
是宽容,而不是纵容;
是支持,而不是支配;
是慰问,而不是质问;
是倾诉,而不是控诉;
是难忘,而不是遗忘;
是彼此交流,而不是凡事交代;
是为对方默默祈求,而不是向对方诸多要求;
可以浪漫,但不要浪费;

可以随时牵手,但不要随便分手。

Friday, January 25, 2008

Everything I said is WRONG ????

Why when he decided to leave us and said that all he could offer is money?
Why when I'd accepted his offer - I'm been labeled as a con?
Why when there's mutual understanding that he can only be responsible in terms of money, I'm the one getting blames???

Why when he's the one who wants to quit but I'm getting the blame for all this?
Why when he decided to give up the baby and then questioned people about why he couldn't have this child?

Y? y? y? ? ?

It's so hard to b torn between my family and him...
My family said that if I do not listen to them again...dun ever think of asking for their help next time...
Inside me - I do not want to act this way..but do I have a choice...what can I do?
For him n his mum - this action taken had gone to0 far as I'd make things reaching an unreturnable stage.....but do we still have hopes???? is it still mendable????

How ??? What ????

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Griefs..Sorrows

How long I have to go through this???
How much more sleepless nites I have to endure???
How to stop thinking about him anymore??? How to? how to???

I thought it was forever
I thought it would last
Gotta try to make it
A page of my past
You didn't even say "You're sorry"
When you choose to end our family

Now I'm lyin' here alone
In what once was our bed
Trying to forget
All the cruel words you said
All the radio was playing
What once was our favorite song ..........

Friday, January 18, 2008

END

Thing has gone from bad to worse to END.....

Monday, January 14, 2008

Love Hurts !!

Love hurts...
Love scars...
Love wounds...
Almost any heart...Not tough or stong enough...
To take a lot of pain...take a lot of pain.
Love is like a cloud.
Holds a lot of rain...
Love hurts...

* Is Love and Hate - the opposition??
* Why you could love and hate someone at the same time??

It's because you still CARE........................................

Past Vs Now

For so long , I have known the deepest fear in me - Losing....
Since young I'm always alone - this makes me learn to be independent and shutting myself out of others... forcing myself to grow strong and never believe in others' love...

The fear of losing makes me such a evil person where I'll just try to get rid of whoever near me...
The fear of losing makes me push things away ... throw things away.....
and close my heart from everyone... not letting anyone in to take care for me..

I'm so tired...so much in pain...till the master said he could felt my pain.....
It's time for me to think of what I want and not pushing it away......
I know that my action, words had hurt people around me..who love me as I was too blind to feel it....
Just wanna said that I'm really SORRY and please forgive me......
So SORRY, SORRY, SORRY, SORRY, SORRY...............................

Starting from this moment -
I'll live my life to the fullness each and everyday...
And letting people in ..to care for me as I'm not alone ..
Learn to appreciate things and consent of all things......
Cheers to a new me : )

Friday, January 11, 2008

?? 爱 ??

终于明白,
爱情,就象是模特身上那件美丽的衣
穿在别人的身上,总是耀眼而美丽
穿在自己的身上,就成了小丑的戏

爱,
绝不是缺了就找
更不是累了就换
生活不是一个人好好的活
是两个人如何一起好好过

声音还在耳边,讯号拉进了天涯的距离
可距离仍然是这样的现实的阻断着,无法触摸到你
只能从均匀的呼吸节奏声中,搜寻那点点暧昧的气息

然间,感觉来到了沼泽地
恐惧、害怕朝我袭来,夹杂着那些温暖,凌乱的碎片
才觉得,除了感觉,我没有抓到任何
不知道站在沼泽地的我,还能支撑多久
下降的速度取决与我是否全力挣扎
而前方等着我的,是化身成泥,
傻的是,却心欢喜

我没有奢求
只想用力地搂着你
放声地哭
痛快地流一次泪

爱情并不是风筝,
放出去还可以收的回来
放出去的是爱情,
收回来的总是伤心
只有孤独的,孤单的,孤寂的
在,别人不明了的,心情中,去怀伤,去叹息……

Trust, Promise, Relation & Heart

Never break four things in your life - Trust, Promise, Relation & Heart
because when they break they don't make noise but pains a lot.

- Charles

MissiNg AnGeL ; (

Last Nite - my little angel was not with me...
The very first time since a year ago that my angel was not with me...

Thought so many things happened and I should be too tired to feel anything and could just fall asleep easily..
But I just couldn't.......................
His is with me for a year .... and I blame myself for not able to be responsible for him...
This is the second time that I failed to be a mum....
I really hate myself for not able to be with him......
How pain is it to feel that you failed again....again...again....
How irresponsible am I..........
I am not really fit to be anyone's mum...
Cos I can't provide them with care along their growth...........
Just felt so sorry ...so sorry ... my little one........ and my bigger one
sorry to both of you ........

The very first time - 14 years ago ... I'm vulnerable...helpless....unknowledgable..
So I got to let go.... It hurts me whenever I think back of this moment...
Where you are not able to care for him when he's so small...so new to the world...
He's a part of you for so long and it takes enormous pain and courage to bring him to the world...
But you got to part with him after 2 days..... so pain and so sorry, my bigger one

Now - thought I could make up of what happened before - just wanna be with the little one - to care and shower him with love and joy along his growth ...
Again - I failed........ such failure really bring me down...... and just felt that I'm so so so so sorry
Letting the little one and the bigger one - dissapoint again....
My heart was torn when the little one was brought away... hearing him cry makes me felt so wrong...
Knowing him cry - breaks my heart...
Though he's so small yet he's so bright... he knows me and needs me...
But I have to leave him.... so sorry .....
I could not ask forgiveness.... as I'm such a failure and useless

Already set up a blog for the little one - thought I could show it to him one day ... his growth with me beside...
But now... i dunno ... I'm too shame to let him know that I'm not able to accompany him along his growth..
Again .. things happened with my little angel and my bigger one
So much pain and I do blame myself so much........... so much......

Mummy love you, Damien and Darren...

Friday, January 04, 2008

....................

Sleepless Nite..............
Endless Pain................

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Little Angel ^-^


I have a little angel..with angelic smile that would melt your heart away..
A smile that would easily ease your mind...

Really thankful to god for giving me his prettiest angel to me..
Accompany me at this hardest moment...
Never ever expect to have such a blessing from above...
Thank you...

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Good ? Bad ? Guide

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
if i dont call you [ Its because im waiting for you to call me ]
When i walk away from you [ Follow me ]
When i stare at your mouth [ Kiss me ]
When i push you or hit you [ Grab me and dont let go ]
When i start cussing at you [ Kiss me and tell me you love me ]
When im quiet [ Ask me whats wrong ]
When i ignore you [ Give me your attention ]
When i pull away [ Pull me back ]
When you see me at my worst [ Tell me im beautiful ]
When you see me start crying [ Hold me and tell me everything will be alright ]
When you see me walking away [ Sneak up and hug my waist from behind ]
When im scared [ Protect me ]
When i lay my head on your shoulder [ Tilt my head up and kiss me ]
When i tease you [ Tease me back and make me laugh ]
When i dont answer for a long time [ reassure me that everything is okay ]
When i look at you with doubt [ Back yourself up ]
When i say that i like you [ I really do more than you could understand ]
When i grab at your hands [ Hold mine tightly]
When i bump into you [ bump into me back and make me laugh ]
When i tell you a secret [ keep it safe and untold ]
When i look at you in your eyes [ dont look away until i do ]
When i miss you [ im hurting inside ]
When you break my heart [ the pain never really goes away ]
When i say its over [ i still want you to be mine ]
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


What do u think ???

This might serve as a good guide for man out there to understand more about a woman's behaviour...........

And the last statement --------
Although my mind n mouth think that it should be over.. .. BUT

My Heart still WANT Him... although I never mention to him personally...only when he's asleep
I should take up courage to tell him that "I LOVE YOU"

I know this won't change anything but just wanna let you know..that's all...nothing much..my dear sky !

< H e A r t B r E a k >

After 2 year n 10 months........
What's left....... is just pain n pain........
Nothing else but PAINnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Never ever had such pain till ur heart could die.......
Or it's a blessing .... rather than dragging on ..n getting more hurts

pain
pain
pain

.............................
.............................
.............................


As day goes by since last friday...
I'd begin to search my heart ... to see whether I still have one burning heart...
but yesterday I found none left...
no more flame..no more burning..no more pumping.....
just silent n ease...


This is how one felt when ur heart really die
....... just a day or a minute could change the way u look at someone .... that u used to love, to care so much n more than ur life.......
no more heart pain as my heart are dead
yup....no more pain, no more from now

[But deep inside my heart, my soul - I still need him... just dunno y...
been asking myself over and over again...the answer still remained the same - I would still choose to be with him now, and next life and next........... without regrets......]


Just a small step to home...but such a long distance far far away now........

Just felt sorry for the little one as I m not able to furnish him with a complete love..care..n family
Please forgive me, my little angel

Mummy love u, my little angel

Anyway...Happy New Year n wishing myself for bundle of joy n laughter in future..oh..
Forgotten..I already had my joy..that's my Little Angel ^o^ my silly boy