Flip Flop Cãfe

Wao...such a long break from my blog...kind of missing it ^_^ Been quite busy with lot of works recently...non stop working days with no break in between for two weeks.. body ache ; (

Sunday, 2nd April 2006 10:20am I'm so sorry that I'd always hurt you whenever you mention about our future..how we will be together..I'll always said that it might not be ME! I just can't - cos u deserve someone better - and it is just not ME..to think and talk about the future just worries me and I'm still lost, so lost and so sorry for putting you in such an awkward situation and giving your families such a big false hope...so sorry You always ask me - is this the life that I would always want to be with you - without any commitment??? A year, two years, three years..how long I want to be like this?? keep on running from reality...and choose to be in this same situation/condition.... I'm so selfish - always not taking care of your feelings and just don't care enough for lots and lots of things.. Do you really sees what you want?? Are you really that sure of it????? You always said I don't like to ask favour from you ..I tend to do things without asking...

Just came back a few days ago after a long long trip to Miri... Things are happening here and there along the stay at there... Thought I could use this trip to sort out my mind !! Am I really able to ???? 1st April 2006 (2:00 pm) Reached Miri airport - feeling very hungry since my last breakfast early in the morning... didn't have anything at the plane - cos they only serve - Nasi Lemak : ( So the first thing when I reached the airport - is to get something to eat...Never know that a 'Butter Milk Bun' would taste that nice (And it is the only nice bun from Ma Bakery, Miri) When to Mega Hotel - place where I'll be staying for 26 days. It is situated in the town center..a quiet place.. Nite comes softly.... have some rest and then after taken my bath - decided to go to the nearest supermarket to get some milk and oats and drinks and most wanted a pair of comfortable shoes cos what I had on my feet was my high heel.. Manage to get the things I wanted and walk back from Imp...

Been feeling not well for quite some time...stupid flu and sorethroat..been bugging me for about 3 weeks....come and go, come and go.... Will be going to Miri soon...so what in my mind now...quite pressure; thanks to my 'Rationale' impulses telling my landlord that I'm staying till this month end ; P got to pack up and store my things at my office and my car.. So, every morning..u will c me carrying lots of stuff to my car..from the lif...then reached the campus and carrying it up to my place, that's what I'd been doing for the past few weeks... lama-lama jadi bukit ^_^ 3:05pm After lunch - a bit blank....so - take a peek at keenysia.com blogsite..found sth fun - myHeritage.com - tried it out too... most of my pic - show resemble of the same group of people.. Running nose still on..just hate it so much !!

Have you ever think about what commitment is about??? Does it means a lot to you??? or to your the other half??? For some - it might be an easy word.....but for me - it is a heavy word..... for I have fear and wonder whether by giving commitment - it would guarantee things would work the way you want it????? At times, I might be too pushy n too sticky to people ... I always remind myself not to...or at least try not to... coz inside me - I fear that I might push people away from me.... Guess the loneliness n emptiness in me are real huge.... Don't push someone if you know they're not ready to make a decision, no matter how impatient you are.... ** I keeps on reminding myself : ) Got to exercise my sense of patience and give room and space to people to come to their own conclusions.....

It's been such a looooooooongg time since my last blog..... it's new year time now... everything should be going well at this hour...but..........just felt some emptiness in me...just beginning to wonder and questioning myself what I really want??? what I really need??? Have you ever be in the situation that you are surrounded by peoples yet you felt so lonely !!!